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Arlen Specter requests that Clinton campaign turn over video tapes of Obama gargling before debate
Written by Lou Theobald   
Wednesday, 27 February 2008

The Pennsylvania senator cites the possibility of numerous pre-debate tapings of Senator Obama clearing throat, drinking vitamin water and singing several refrains of Do-Ray-Mi.

Cleveland, OH --  The once high-flying Clinton campaign was sullied by allegations that prior to the February 26th debate in Cleveland, OH, a campaign staffer was seen video taping Senator Obama warming up his voice just moments before the debate was set to commence.  

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Boston College to change name following loss to Florida State
Written by Phil Barphonski   
Sunday, 04 November 2007

Mayor Menino suggests moving Boston College to a less “winning” city; perhaps a location somewhere between South Bend and Indianapolis

Boston – The City of Boston has asked the Boston College Eagles to remove “Boston” from their name and eventually leave the city entirely following their loss on Saturday to the Florida State Seminoles.  “We really can’t have a team that’s not going to win it all sullying our city’s good name,” said one city government official.  “When they started beating teams by less than three touchdowns, we took great pains to bury them in our local media outlets with stories about the Red Sox, Patriots and now the Celtics.  Now most local fans around Boston, in fact all of New England, are just hoping they leave quietly.”
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With Bush under sedation, Cheney appoints Michael Vick to head USDA Animal Welfare Division
Written by Lou Theobald   
Sunday, 22 July 2007

“I had to do something with my time while the President was under…”

Washington, DC -- Any questions about Michael Vick’s return, or absence, this season were answered when he accepted “President” Dick Cheney’s invitation to become the new head of the United States Department of Agriculture’s Animal Welfare Division. 
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Mariano Rivera enrolled at Corcoran Academy of Irish Dance
Written by Lou Theobald   
Thursday, 01 November 2007

Several more Yankees to follow

New York – A panicked Yankee organization begins a series of radical steps to rejuvenate the once proud franchise.  New Yankee Manager, Joe Girardi, is promising a real “River Dance” next season with Doo-Rags, Dreadlocks and plenty of Pine-tarred batting helmets.
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Patriots retake field after post-game press conference and score two more touchdowns
Written by Clay Bickleson   
Monday, 29 October 2007

Still hoping to get Hanson and Gostkowski touchdown passes before playoffs

Foxboro, MA -- In a surprise move following the New England Patriots and Washington Redskins game last Sunday, several members of the New England Patriots Offense left the post-game press conference early, went back out on to the field and scored two more touchdowns; once more putting to rest any rumors of cheating that might otherwise taint their three previous championships.
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